My hands shake, my body aches, and the world spins, yet I pretend I feel fine. Yet I put a stupid smile on my face to say oh maybe its better. Nope its just getting worse. Not good to lose weight when I already don't weigh very much. I'm slipping away. . . I'm becoming weak, and your voice becomes louder, and I start to listen more with out even realizing it. Its the one thing I feel like I have control over, and the one thing that seems to make me happy. God I'm so fucked up. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to check my iron, I don't know if I should tell them about my worsening problem, or just pretend life is just how I want it. God if there is a god why don't you just make this go away, if you're oh so powerful I don't see why you can't take this pain away. Maybe you aren't real, and just made up bull shit. I need to be me again, before its too late and I lose my true self forever...
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