Life will go on, hopefully. . .

Didn't eat for 24 hours, actually a little more then that, but I had some smoothies so thats something. I didn't even mean to, or maybe thats just me hoping I didn't mean to but in reality I know it I did. And it scares me. I ate last night felt like I was going to threw up, eat a breakfast burrito this morning and I just feel really gross. Why do I have to be so complicated? Its like no matter what something is going wrong in my life, can't I just have a few days where everything goes right? Nope that couldn't happen for me, because maybe I'm just not good enough to have a day or two where nothing went wrong. Maybe by having somewhat control over my life it will help things go right, probably not. Its just making things worse, but I actually felt happy this morning, before I ate at least. Then I got my blood drawn for an iron level test and my arm, there's a huge bruise where they put the needle in. I'm just too fragile, which is my felt but hey what can you do... I just got to live for today, and if I can only be happy by having the somewhat control of my life that I have then hey I have to do what I need to do to be happy. I need to be able to feel like I'm alive and not just someone everyone just looks right through and no one sees me for who I am. I will get through this, it may take some time and it may be a very rough road block in my life, but one day I will be better. I just have to look forward to that day, and everything seems a little better.